What can I say?

Well today was one for the record books. Today was our excursion to Ft Hood. We got arond and left round 10 and I decided to go through Liberty Hill and take 21, well little did I know I needed to go up to 195 and take it over. So, that started it off. 29 took me to 35n and I took it all the way to 195 and finally got to post round 1245 and of course went to the wrong gate that the passes are near and had to turn around and go up father to the other main gate. I got there and had to wait for 1hr to get my temp pass on post. Can u imagine? 3 kids in an office with I dunno 60-70 people waiting? I barely survived. I finally made it over to my MITT meeting. There were only 5 other wives there and of course they were ARMY wives that are stationed there at Ft Hood. Not real informative for me since I live in Austin. I was hoping that other wives that are on Geoffs MITT team would be there. The reason I got an invite was because Geoff deployed out of Ft Riley and this MITT meeting was for wives that had husbands that also deployed at Ft Riley. The meeting only lasted 45 when i finaly got there. It started at 12 and i got there bout 115. It was long day. The kids luved being round other military kids and doing crafts and talking with them bout there daddys being gone. It definately made Natties day. Our drive home wasn't that bad cause the kids took naps thank goodness. Well, Its late and I'm tired.....

Almost Saturday...

Today was full of fun things that we did. Since today was day 14 I had to take all 3 kids back to the DR for there checkups since the strep throat stuff. Natalie and Nich don't have strep anymore, but Nathan now does. Nich has fluid behind his eardrum so he's on an antibotic. They did a hearing test and it turned out ok so I"m hoping this will clear up and he won't later need tubes. Nate, well, he's speach is still questionable and the Dr put him on medicine to see if his speech isn't just constant congestion. So when we go back in 14 days we'll asses that and if it hasn't then were off back to ENT for tubes and a speech theropist referal since he didn't qualify for it through our school district. Natalie is finally well. I'll be glad when everyone is well and can take a break from the dr's. Last night, Nate slipped on the tile floor and busted his chin open. Luckily, I got the bleeding to stop so I didn't have to go stitch it up. He'll have a scar but all is well. Nich now can do thumbs up. Of course u say, Nich thumbs up and you get fists because he hasn't figured out how to just leave the thumb up. I'm done with the first 3 days of my ASL class and it is awesome. I luv my professorm, Byron Bridges, I'm learning so much. I'm hoping I can take him for ASL 4 in the fall. I had his wife for ASL 1 and 2 and I luved her. I'm luving the summer session because I go everyday 4 days a week and I use sign for 3 hours everyday. After this summer class I'm thinkin I'll feel more confident to auctually sign for the our church's deaf ward. We'll see how my confidence level is when this is all over. I finally got Nathan is own scooter. You know the ones that look like the RAZOR ones. He wanted the star wars one and he luv it. Now him and Natalie won't fight over the one and they can race. I also picked up a tee-ball thing and the boys are really having fun with that. I didn't know if Nate would take to it or not. I may be lookin to put him in T-ball in the fall when my life slows down. I know what your thinking, my life will NEVER slow down as long as Geoff is gone and your probably right, but I would like to put them in something extra to do for fun. Natalie's been hollaring bout doing gymnastics again and I'm thinkin on that.Well, its 11 pm here. The only reason I'm on here this late is cause I just got off the phone with my honey. He's doing well and is about to buy me a pershian rug. Now, what I'm gonna do with that rug is still unknown, but its the thought that counts. Tomorrow were going out to Ft. Hood. There having a training for the spouses and on site day care. I think it will do the kids good to get to be around other kids that have a parent deployed. This is just one of the reason's I hate not living on a post. Natalie really wants to go and has reminded me everyday since I told her I was thinking about going. She really wants to meet other kids like her so I guess I'm gonna make the drive down there. I'm excited for them......

Chaos

Well, today was the first day of class. I have had nothing but craziness leading up to this day. From the kids, to getting my accommadations with school and worryingabout how strict my professor was gonna be this term. I dropped the boys off at the sitter and I raced to school. It was downtown so I lucked out on traffic and made it in record time. Of course at Rio Grande parking sucks and I drove around for 10-15 mins before I decided to park illeaglly in the rec center lot. Ran to class and I kid u not, Class was only 40 mins long. All that worry and stress for 40 MINS. I was shocked. We went over the syllabus and he dismissed us. However, I think this session is gonna be awesome. I'm impressed with Professor Bridges and had heard nothing but good things about him. I'm thinking this isn't so bad and I"m gonna do well. Natalie has been wanting me to paint her nails so I did that tonight and that made her night. She wanted them purple-red and they turned out nice. I'm happy to report that I'm having a lot of success with my new MEDS and think i've finally got it right this time. My dosages seem to be in the right spot and we'll see how this goes. Can't afford to have my MEDS all screwey. I pray no more adjustments will be necessary. We are all doing well and have made it passed the 100 day mark now we just have 17o ish more days. Time is flying for now, but the summer will slow that down i'm sure. Well, enough for now....

Bundle of nerves

Tomorrow is the day that my summer life starts. I chance to see if I"m gonna survive the next part. Dealing with the children longer and making mine and there lives co-exhist. Figureing out how to balance everything. It will work itself out. I know I have to take the chance one this class when I could probably be sitting at home helping my kids learn to deal with all of this. They've been so occupied with school that they haven't yet grasped the gravity of our situation. And for the duration. I was discplinning Nate today and he was smiling at me and gigling and I just looked at him and squeezed him real tight and told him that he looked so much like his dad. It helps me to be able to look at my son and see Geoff. A spitting image. And most people are probably thinking the same thing,too. Nathan is the only visual link I have to Geoff. Natalie looks like my mom and Nich looks like my dad. Its so weird that I can look through Nathans eyes and see Geoff looking right back at me expecially when he's smiling. Food for thought.

And then there was SCHOOL.

Well, I'm going to summerize my happenings for the past week or so. I'm able to take my summer ASL 3 class and I'm so excited. I went to the disabilites office and gave all my new paperwork (504) stuff and they found a way to make this work and I get a break from MATH for 1 or 2 sem. I switched my certification to ASL studies which is ASL 1-4 and the Intro to Deaf Culture thats it. I need these classes anyway for my intrepretor prep stuff so its not hindering any time. Just might take 1-2 sem. longer to finish but if I can get a break from MATH its well worth it. And I get all the disability aids I asked for. (oral test and extra time, etc) I also got my sitters lined up I only have the last week of school to fill which is only 3 days. Thanks to the ladies in my church, my regular sitter Mel and my mother-in-law. I'm indeed grateful. Summer is HERE and preschool is over. What an adjustment this will be for the boys. Especialy with Geoff gone. Geoff did make it back to Camp Spann after a long 15 or 20 day mission. Which I'm glad so that our nightly calls can resume. THe kids missed talkin to him. We just got back from a small trip to my gradma's to visit my parents and i've uploaded our lasted pics so ENJOY. NOt much else to add. I'll update mores as our KAOS moves forward.....

New Plan

I got my results from my THEA test. I made a 207 out of 230. So, enlight of my test scores Ive had to revise my life. I did, however, get my 504 stuff from the high school so that student disabilites could give me services. Not sure I even care anymore. I'm just tired of all the monotney of the whole system. So, I guess I'm dropping my summer class and going to take a break from school. Which means I probably won't go back. If the past predicts the future thats what will happen. I get lost and just get frustrated and quit. I don't think college is for me, but I pray that a new plan will arise. I have enclosed pics of my new TV and stand and I must say I luv it. My excitement was short lived when Nich drowned my satalite remote in my glass of lemonade. So now or at least until Tuesday I can't watch satalite on my big screen. I took the kids to the mall today to find Natalie a swim suit. Shes been begging me to get up to the pool. Finally, we found one she likes. She's entirely to picky. Of course, it was in the last store we looked and the kids were to the point of unbearable by that time but we all survived. I think I've about sumed up the past few days. I had a good Mothers Day. I went and got a Manicure, Pedicure, and wax my eyebrows. It was nice to be pampered. Natalie has a talk in church tomorrow about following the prophet and she is so nervous, but I know she will do well. Thats the past few days in review. I put up new pics so ENJOY!

Lost Dream....Maybe?

Well, school is not going well for me these days. I haven't gotten my results back from my THEA test yet, but I've been preparing myself for what could be distasterist. If past behavior is any indicator of what the future will be, I'll fail that test. I called the THEA office today and they said I should have my results back in 7-10 days which would mean I should know by monday. Lets just say that it doesn't look good for me. I've been trying to get assistance through the student disabilities office so that they can read my tests to me. The reason for this is my test anxiety. I do not standardize test well. So, anyway I took in with me this time a letter from my doctor explaining my diagnois of depression and anxiety and they said "sorry this isn't good enough" It was written exactly the way they told me it had to be when I went in there 2 weeks ago. I got my grade for my Elemtary Alg. class and I got an IP which is college lingo for IN PROGRESS. Just means that I didn't really "finish the course." I couldn't...The last 4 sections were on quaduatric equations and complex material. I explained to the advisor that my TAAS test, which is the test you have to take in Texas to graduate high school, I had to take 3 times. If i'd have failed it the 3rd time I'd probably just dropped out of school. Not even graduated. What would've been the point, the state would not have let me anyway. I got lost in the system then and its happening as an adult. My certification doesn't even require a math credit. So, if my THEA test comes back below a 230 I'm going to have to give up my dream of becomming a Sign Language Intrepretor. I'm having a hard time excepting that. I've thought about changing my direction choosing something else, but everything requires I pass a placement test. Which I can't do. The system isn't setup for me or anyone like me. It never has been. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do this and once again it probably will prove failure. So to make a long story short....If the results come back bad, I'm quiting school. This will make for a long time here by myself with nothing to keep my mind off of being by myself and not having any help. School was my release. Anyway, thats that.

Got me to thinkin

Well, today was mothers day. At chruch the kids got to make these coupon booklets. You know the ones were u can put a service you want to perform for your mom or dad. I remember doing that for my mom. Anyhow, Nathan came back with his BLANK... He said that he couldn't think of anything he wanted to serve me with. I just asked him if he could behave for just one day. He smiled and said....MOM. So, I take that as a NO. Natalie is the sunshine in my day. She handed me her booklet and was so excited. She informed me that she wanted to read to me what she put. I told her to hold her horses till me got to the car so that I could pay her the proper attention. So, her first ticket....was she wanted to give me $100. I just smiled. I told her that was sweet, but to be able to give me that kind of money, I would have to give it to her and she give it back to me. She just laughed. Her other too had to do with giving me love and hugs. I enjoy that thought. Anyhow, my thinkin today has to do with the way I feel about going to college. With my future as a college student hanging on this one test, I have been thinking a ton. I don't think that this is fair that I have to take this test when my certification doesn't require a Math class. I feel that exact same way I did in school. Only now I'm grown and have a voice and still no one seems to care. I cant get any OSD help because I didn't take remedial classes in school, but have proof that I had the TAAS read to me to graduate. If I had failed it that last time, I would have never graduated and chose to drop out. Thank goodness I had this last option to have it read to me. I don't know what I have to do to prove to everyone that I suck at Math. I absoultly can't do it. I'm fighting battles that I thought I had over come years ago. What a let down..I have hoped for a long time to prove to myself that I can be a college student and now to have my disability hold me back and not be able to do anything about it. Alot to sort through with Geoff not here to help.
SO FOR NOW........

Week Summary....

This week had a ton of ups and downs. I spent most of week studing for the THEA test that I took today. I took my last final on Tues and being done with school has been such a relief. I really didn't want to take another test that has nothing to do with my Certification was the last thing I wanted to do when I am no longer in class anymore, but I need to get out of this developmental math class. Taking 2 semisters of math has killed me. Stress is not even the word I could use to describe. But for now I get a small break. Hopefully in 2 weeks I'll know the score of my THEA test and this will be the answer to my prayers. On Friday, I forgot to pay my tuiton for my ASl 3 class this summer. Don't know why I forgot, guess because me and the kids had a lot going on. Friday was Natalie's field day at school and me and the boys spent 2 hrs outside watching Nattie do different activities. Nathan felt left out so I planned for him to have a play date with his BFF Jonathan. They had the best time. We only stayed for an hr because it was so dang HOT. Friday was Family Free Friday at the YMCA and so the kids got to go up for 4 hrs and give me a break. I could leave site and do what I wanted. It was great when u don't get a break often. I just came home and shampooed the boys carpent in there room. Should've done it when I did mine a few weeks back, but they were here and I was in a hurry then. Since they were gone I took the opportunity. Julene Slora stoped by my house fri evening and dropped by one of those take and bake pizzas. Geoff and I luv them!!! We discovered them when we lived in Washington and were sad to learn the Austin didn't have one. Anyway, she came by and informed me that Fri was Military Spouse Support Day. WHO KNEW!!! I sure didn't. I really appreciated her act of kindness. Today, was Parents night out at the YMCA and its $15 per kid and you get from 6-1130 so tonight I got about 4 hrs. I decided to go get a mani and pedi at the mall. I needed to exchange a swimsuit I got for Natalie so I just went for it. I really enjoyed being pamperd. My mothers day present to myself. As I was leaving the mall I got a call from Geoff. He called to tell my Happy Mothers Day. That made me feel special and sad all together. He thought to call me...., but he isn't here to smile at me or help the kids pick out a card for me. And most of all I miss his CRAZY cards that he always get me. So, this is one of the many times that I'll miss him most. I forgot, thanks to Gennie she re-registerd me in my class so that I am taking ASL 3 the first summer session as plannes. There was only 2 slots left when she did it, so I was lucky. I imagine I'll never forget to pay my tution again. Tomorrow is another day.........

Finally Friday.....

Well, today was absolutely exhausting. Luckly the kids were all in school and I was able to have chaos alone. This morning I discoverd fire ants coming in through the peep holes on the outside of the house, So you ask were in the house were they in? The kids closet....So I freaked out and called ORKIN immediately and made an appt to get someone over here today. So I felt that I had made some progress before leaving. I had an eye doctor appt today and I optied to get contacts. Since the boys have in some form or fashion distorted or broken my glasses, contacts was my last option. I really like them so far. Seems I can see much better with the contacts than with my glasses. So I do a follow up in a week to see if I still like them or not and my prescription. The preschool had MOMS TEA today a 115 so of course I had to go.The kids had make crafts for the moms. And of course they were just adorable, next came the performance. The kids did a few mother songs then had some refreshments. I always enjoying going to things at the preschool. Later in the day Natalie had a Kindergarden Show off Night at 630 for just Mrs. Carsons class. Let me say the see rocked the house down. She shook scarves, and her butta and the chicken dance. SO CUTE!!!! In between what little time I have left I've bee doing laundry being sure the ants aren't in the clothes. Got it almost done I think 1 load left. Just a note.....In this blog I am extremely honest about how we are feeling. No beating around the bush. I put stuff out there so that issues arent swept under the rug.And its made me who I am and will be in the future. My meds are just a means to help me to take this journey sainly. I am doing fine...Ups and Downs but hopefully we all some of those days. The only thing...The orkin man reecked of SMOKE. L:ike he had been sitting right next to a valacona and it over whelmeme. So i think I can call and request another one.Well, tomorrow is field day at Nats school so I'll be up with pics tomorrow. and school shots came in so I'm gonna skan these in too.
Love and Happiness........................

Shoe Day

Well, today was nothing special...I took the boys to academy to get them better shoes since Nich is pigeon toed and Nate has really flat feet. I got Nich some Nike's with really good arches and Nate some New Balance that he loves. He thinks they make him run faster than his spider man shoes. I thought for sure that I was gonna have trouble with switching his shoes, considering how much he is into super heros.I got my scores for my ASL 2 class. For the semester I ended up with a high B and not sure bout my math class yet. Sure I bombed it cause I felt my ASL class was more important since I don't have to have a Math for my cert. plan. I take the THEA on sat which is just a placement test so that I can test out of Developmental Math. And be TSI complete. Natalie has got the coughes pretty bad and so she has alot of allergy drainage. I'm thinkin I'm gonna take her to doc and see if her tubes fell out as well. Well, the much anticipated pics of my room update are now posted so check it out. I'm still working on it. My chester drawers and dressers are soon to be added. I got everything at IKEA and has to be assembled. Well, until next time.......

PARTY TIME!!!!!

Well, tonight was the big concert I've been going on and on about in my blogs since I finally broke down and bought tix to go. Can I say that I had a blast. The show was awesome....I love her album and she sang all the songs on it. It was awesome to get to hear her sing them live. I just wish Geoff could've gone with me and it would have been much more memorable. The last time we went to a concert together was when we were dating and we happend to stop by the club and see Bowling for Soup. Of course, this before they became huge stars. And we totally had a blast at that one so I'm sure it would have brought back old times. Oh my how time flies. Can I say that school is OVER for me.....At least till May 27. I got into my summer ASL 3 class. Its only a 5 wk session so its gonna real fast be over probably faster. A lot going on with the school year winding down for summer vacation. Trying to get a reliavle sitter for my summer session. Geoff is away on a Huminatarian mission in Kabul for 10-12 days so we will have a communication break down till then. But I informed him that I would keep blogging so he would be able to keep up with whats going on here. In a 10 min conversation its hard to remember whats important to include in valueable time. The boys have a "MOMS TEA" at the school were they do a presation and serve snackes and Nate is so excited to sing and show me what he's been practicing. Natalie has kindergarden show off night as well. Each class has been working on something different musically and are going to present it to JUST the parents in a small setting. Shes so happy that she gets to sing but better yet I get to come up and see. Seems like I"m always at school. I'm going to go eat luch with her on Tues and that will make her feel special. Then with the boys on Thurs. We'll see how my crazy life goes to abale to keep this ideas going. My room is on its way to being done...Just assembling the dressers so in good time. I'll post the pics have of the remodel.
Night to All
Ran

Our Week

Well, this week was just that a week. I dunno, it had a ruff start, but I think maybe it finished on an okay note. I've had no class this week with finals on Tuesday so, i've had plenty of time with the kids. Geoff has decided to start calling in the mornings so that he can catch the kids before bed. So, for me that sux cause I'm still trying to make it out of my bed when he phones at 650 in the morn. The boys had a Dr visit today. Very informative...It seems that Nate's ear tubes has fallen out and will soon be needing a 2nd set. We think that this is the reason that his speech hasn't improved much. Dr. Kangos is getting us a referal to a speech therpaist since I informed him that our school distract will not offer him therapy. Dr reassures me that he wants to wait for Nates 2nd go round of tubes till Nov so that he can make it through the winter with no infections. This is good cause maybe I can hold him off till Geoff gets home in Dec so that I don't have to go through this surgery by myself with all the kids. I mean, at least it'll just be Nate and not both this time. I'll never do that again, even though it seemed like a good idea at the time. Dr Kangos thinks this is also why Nathans asthma has reared its ugly head. He put both boys on singular and Nasonex and Nate of course has his inhaler that he has to take 2 day instead of just once now. Nich has an ear infection that hasn't manifested yet but since he's on singular were hoping it keeps it at bay. So, thats reassuring for me. I also had the Dr evaluate Nich's feet which appear to be pigeon toed and he told me that he would grow out of it in time. Both boys are flat footed and probably would be a good idea get them both some better shoes for there feet instead of going to payless, so imagine that I'll be adding that on my things to do this next week. Natalie hasn't had much of an eventful week. She's getting to a point where she askes often when Geoff will be back, but I assume thats normal. She wants to carry around a pic of Geoff all the time so I'm going to give her one she can post in her foler and one that she can hang on her back pack. So, maybe this will help her to feel that her daddy really isn't that far away. I'm doing okay as well. I had the doctors up my medication because I've been having a crazy time adjusting to doing all this alone. I think I under estimated how difficult this was gonna be. Before Geoff left I had them up my meds because I was having a hard time dealing with the fact that he was leaving. Now he's gone and at times this all seems unbearable. I've cried a many a nights over being alone. I don't do alone very well. I think I've taken for grated being in a partnership and now its all me. Having to handle everyday life and still manage a marriage when your spouse is an ocean apart is one of the second hardest trials of my life. My depression being the first. I have a good support system here. I thanks heavenly father every night for my BFF Tina. She has listened to my blab and cry and vent so much these past few months. She's often helped me get my rational thinking back. Just like Geoff would do. So, no worries all is well here. Were just taking everything ONE DAY AT A TIME! Learning alot as we go....